One thing I’ve realized in my years as a enterprise proprietor—and as an individual—is that the frequent denominator of lots of people’s issues is just not with the ability to say “no.” Once we study to say no, we are able to deal with shifting ahead, nourish our passions and, most significantly, shield our psychological well being. No good can come from people-pleasing behaviors and consistently denying our personal wants.
So, why is saying no so laborious?
Though an excellent query, it’s a loaded one. Many elements play into the reply, together with the easy indisputable fact that when folks ask for a favor or so that you can take one thing on, lots of feelings come up. Saying no to those requests might be perceived as egocentric—whether or not it’s an inner wrestle or a wrestle with saying no to a consumer, coworker, worker or employer. Some folks might take your “no” as not caring about them, or others might even see it as an indication of weak point.
Take into consideration when you need to inform a consumer that you’re unable to groom their canine for one motive or one other and the way upsetting it usually is for each of you. Or perhaps it’s time to inform an worker that their objectives for their very own profession don’t align with your online business mannequin. It’s a tough dialog to have, and it’s one which leaves each of you distressed. Human brains need good, optimistic experiences. We crave the “really feel good” impact that comes from endorphins, and we don’t wish to be seen as tough.
That is even more true for people who find themselves part of the service business. We’ve a picture (a model) to uphold. Society is fast to show a “no” into a foul evaluate or adverse gossip a couple of enterprise. The concern of the negativity that may fall upon a enterprise performs an enormous function within the issue many enterprise homeowners and workers have saying no. This concern causes a downward spiral as a result of we’re not being true to ourselves, and this fixed combating with ourselves results in burnout.
Did any of this resonate with you?
The chances are stacked towards us with regards to people-pleasing, so it’s no surprise we’ve got such a tough time. Saying sure when folks ask us for one thing is extra pure, optimistic and what we’re educated to do when offering a service in at the moment’s society.
In the end, I received sick of being burnt out, making an attempt to reside as much as society’s unrealistic expectations of grooming, and maintaining with the calls for of potential and present workers, so I knew I needed to discover a technique to change it. An energetic change needed to be made to guard my psychological well being. However it doesn’t matter what I learn or did, it by no means appeared to stay, and I at all times discovered myself saying sure after I wished to say no. I adopted suggestions and methods precisely as they have been laid out and nonetheless wasn’t seeing outcomes.
The issue was that I wasn’t using what works for me and my thought processes. I wanted one thing greater than, “Do that repetitively, and alter will come simpler.” It doesn’t matter what I attempted, I saved falling again into previous habits.
So, I attempted one thing new. I began to interrupt every “no” down. As soon as I outlined the no and the explanation I wished to say it, I may give you methods to face behind it. Subsequent, I requested myself: How can I say no however sure on the similar time? Following these steps, I discovered my very own system that works for me. I’m now capable of say no with out feeling responsible.
So, simply how can we are saying no with out feeling responsible or giving in?
Right here a couple of suggestions which have labored for me:
1. Listing it out. All of us have a listing of issues we wish to say no to for one motive or one other. Listing them out so they aren’t taking over house in your head. Don’t overthink it; simply begin writing. If you’re an individual who has a tough time concentrating in a single sitting, attempt retaining a pocket book with you or getting into them in your telephone. As you go about your day, jot issues down once they pop up. Take your massive listing and slender it down by putting every merchandise in a class. I often have two classes: private {and professional}.
2. Focus. Choose one listed merchandise to give you a gameplan for. This doesn’t need to be the merchandise that’s most vital to you. You may decide one thing that could be best to work with in the mean time. Typically the simpler ones offers you momentum as you’re employed on them so you may construct as much as the more durable ones.
3. Outline your “why.” It is very important perceive why it’s essential to say no to this merchandise. Your why will enable you to keep on observe when following via together with your no.
4. Plan for adversities. What may pop up that might cease you from following via together with your no? Right here’s a useful trace when itemizing this stuff: It’s often the reasons that you just inform your self, so dig via these first.
5. Discover the “sure.” We’re wired to say sure, so why can we really feel that we’ve got to work towards that? Give you some alternate options to your no which you can say sure to. These choices must align with you and your values or else you’ll not keep on with saying no.
6. Follow. Begin these practices instantly. The longer you dwell on them, the more durable they are going to be to implement.
Pricing is a superb instance of one thing many enterprise homeowners and groomers wrestle to alter. Elevating costs might be scary as a result of the consumer in all probability received’t be pleased with having to pay extra money. Regardless, we have to increase costs for a mess of causes; with the ability to pay aggressive wages, pay for elevated prices, handle inflation, account for advancing talent ranges, and many others. Once we increase costs, we concern battle, getting our emotions harm or shedding purchasers. However these fears are a few of the adversities we must always plan for that might get in the way in which of claiming no.
Now, what sort of sure’s can we give to our purchasers to face behind the value enhance? Can they arrive in additional typically to offset a much bigger enhance? Are you able to go shorter with the lower to elongate the time in between grooms? Are you able to add in an additional service that doesn’t price a lot however provides worth for the consumer? No matter works finest for you and your online business mannequin might be the reply to strolling that line between sure and no. When you’ve determined what your sure’s are, you can begin saying no with extra confidence and fewer battle.
This method has allowed my groomers to grow to be extra assured of their selections and make saying no a lot simpler. It permits me to make good enterprise selections and stand behind them.
Folks will at all times have one thing to say, and whereas we can’t management different folks’s reactions, we are able to management the choices we make behind rising our companies. Make saying no simpler from the beginning so you’ll have extra time to deal with the issues that matter to you and make sense for your online business. ✂️
Denise Heroux
Denise Heroux has spent 25 years within the grooming business. She grew to become a enterprise proprietor in 2014, and since then, she has constructed her model to incorporate over 20 workers and three areas for ever and ever for growth. Taking the step into the subsequent chapter of her profession, she has determined to make use of her intensive expertise to assist the enterprise homeowners within the grooming business. She’s calling this new endeavor “The Bold Groomer,” providing teaching, management, and worker seminars to assist create an excellent grooming enterprise each for the homeowners and their workers.
